Forever is not now

Outside it is dark and rain on the roof takes on a persuasive sound above empty rooms. Alone  one thinks of all the people known personally over time many years long gone. Just the passage of time itself is lonely and it does not seem to matter whether they were good times or bad. Both are melancholy. The passage of time alone just by itself is lonely. So many have lived and died. Lost, all eventually forgotten within their own short space of time even as our own space of time is disappearing. It fools us into thinking there is plenty of time left. We know it is not, but we think what we like.

Maybe an awareness of separation from the past does it. Maybe it is the hint of a separating from existence. Nothing could be sadder than the sense of separation from our existence. We need another if we are to be sensitive to ourselves.  I think it is good to have an intense sense of yourself. We do this while living with another. It is enjoyable and for a brief moment we think it will all last forever. Our near orbits progress slowly hurling us apart changing perspectives into a deeper sweeter sadness.