Never enough time....

This Is Where I Came In

Now the time had come. The reason time comes is that it just goes. It was like an insurance company that is front end loaded. Time starts out slowly and drops you, in the end, into a donut hole. Obscene, but there it is in all its' glory, when the insurance company drops you in your own special little donut hole with your name on it. 

When I was fifteen, I yearned for the day when I would be eighteen. This was because eighteen was the perfect age. All my troubles would be over when I would become eighteen. It happened because I jumped out of being fourteen, never with time to figure out what happened there. 

But there was no doubt about it, when I would be eighteen I would have it made, that was an established fact. I knew this because I had a faraway cousin who was eighteen and suddenly attractive. I did not know it then, girls would not look at a boy the same age. She was only interested in older boys. 

Older the better, so she could blame them for everything and anything that happened. I did not know at the time that the boss is identified by being blamed for everything. That is how women go through life, as innocent as doves.

Turned out to be when I was eighteen, I had to be twenty-one. When I was finally, agonizingly, twenty-one, not one single solitary bartender on the entire planet asked me for my ID. Everything has been downhill or over the hill, depending on one's vision.

Next no one trusts anyone over thirty. Things temporarily improve when you reach forty. From forty to sixty everyone is in their power years with the right to advise young and the old what to do. It is called humoring the young and the old, doing what you want. Then comes the seventies and for those still healthy enough, this is their last decade. When the eighties arrive, time to live off the fat. The mind goes to sleep until you finally fall and break a hip. 

Point of all of this is everyone changes their mind. But eventually everyone ends up living off their fat, Yes indeed, time fools us all, even as I write. All the time I wasted, and all the preparation time lost building my faith, and the lost enjoyment of it. Time lost working out my salvation.

Too late, many find themselves, so quickly, in the donut hole, like myself.