When I Gave Up

Wait on the Lord!

Just when events seemed to be growing worse for me and I was at a standstill unaware, things began exploding around me. Suddenly I came out of a sort of a previous dead zone to discover, right under my nose so to say, that here I had been there before and had lost it.                                 

Hung on nothing

Now rediscovered, it was very much rather like long ago. Convinced I was drowning and had given up when all that same time I was floating up to the surface and saved.

I am changing, when I thought there was no more change. I am believing after all and I am hard to believe still floating up? 

Sandy Believing vs

Cement Believing

Believing isn't easy. Just going along is not believing. Believing most of it is probably even worse in my view. I  know clouds of doubt can multiply exploding around me  like the arrows that fly by day.

I find I just have to admit that even if I do know all the answers, so what? Do I know hardly any of the questions? So there I have it then. I will just have to decide what to believe and build it into cement.   

I finally found that if I set aside my doubts and took all of everything I want to believe zipped into my tent and then just settle down and decide to wait on God. Not I but God will provide, not in my time zone but in His eternal ever present time zone. 

Working From Little to Great Faith

So I believe in my hope in Jesus. Given enough hope even maybe could settle into cement. My love is trusting in Jesus and I am like His little pup, glad just to love trust and praise Him. 

Signs Before vs Signs After

God is My Source

The Bible link previously provided above on this, the portal, page will be monetized, according to my anticipation. 

So for my personal replacement will be my very heavy but trusted personal Bible described in a recent entry. Jesus does not speak favorably of those who look for signs to give them a pathway to truth. 

No Tea Leaves?

I myself never looked for signs to tell me anything was true or not. Instead signs placed themselves at very precipitous times before something would happen to afterward set me asking why then and
that then?

I frequently asked God if He was showing me, or allowing me to see something. There seemed be a significance somewhere. Was it coincidental?

What did it mean I would ask and why allow me to see that now? But it s He always left me to figure that out. Now that I think of those things it seems to be very much something  like a subtle simple little epiphany of some strange a sort. Wondering?

Jesus in Mark 10:15

Proof Has No Need for Faith

Assuredly I say to you, whoever does not see the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it. It is very hard for the rich, as Jesus also said, and not merely in money. Those rich in information-knowledge are also faced with likely more doubts, more so perhaps than those rich in merely money.

Underlining Words

Evidence of a Well Read Bible??

Diligently seeking God, it says in the Bible, means constant reading of the Bible. But underlining to my mind eventually, if one reads long enough means nothing will any longer stand out. 

I have not always done what I want to do regularly, so this is an example of how vital I think it is to objectify my beliefs for myself by publishing this. I read a devotional and I am writing my devotional.

Also it is also my witness before everyone. Jesus said if I witnessed for Him in front of everyone, He will witness for me, so it also says in the Bible. 

So what I do is put different colored sticky dots on passages if I want to remind my attention to any verses I think vitally important or personally significant in any way, so I can remember to find them again. 

I use colored stars for chapters and to elevate emotionally dramatic verses that attract me. Different colors also signal various significances they hold for me. 

What I use is a large print red letter New King James Study Bible. I also use removable bookmarks that I can see thru so as not to interfere with my reading the text. I put them in the margins or at the bottom of the page. My hope is this will help me become a "chapter & verse" guy. 

Choosing My Faith

I Believe What I Will Become

My spirit will be according what I believe. So if I believe there is nothing after I die. then I will be born this time  into a non-existence and know it into eternity! Perhaps there are likely many dependent beliefs with which I would have to deal continually.

I instead, for myself believe I was promised being born again, so to speak, and I accepted as I was promised by Jesus who Himself was sent specifically for me by His Father, God as the last sacrifice. It is all too enormous to be fashioned into one sentence. 

But my Paraclete, my Counselor, my other Helper will speak for me before God who Himself will not tolerate nor allow any sin to appear before Him. I, like everyone, speak only for my own benefit. I am a witness only to myself. This is what I believe at the present moment but if I am ever convinced anytime in the future of anything different I will correct myself immediately. Everyone else takes responsibility and the credit for what they alone believe.

Guys don't really understand numbers

Girls Are Better at Numbers

Now once more I have proof, if that is what we must call it, why I am never going to be  a chapter & verse guy. In the previous entry I misaligned the chapter in Mark as 4 when it should have been 11.

I remember words better than numbers even though numbers can be beautiful they are not as understandable as words. This probably accounts for why I loved algebra like a water duck to the lone exclusion of all those ding dong numbers like trig, geometry, calculous, statistics, et al. 

Try that again with eleven instead of four. Ignore that more popular numbers discipline, craps.    

God chose Paul proving

God's Ways Are Not My Ways

The only way to gain faith it says in the Bible and even so great faith is to read the ancient writers writing in the Bible NKJV. 

Stars Hung on Nothing

I want to have them continually before my eyes. Currently Mark 11:22-26 has my attention and recently Paul 2Cor 4:16-18.

Changing world views

And Victory Over the World

Sailing ships dominated transport from the beginning of time  until the White Cloud ships appeared and closed the crossing of the Atlantic to a week or so. Today in a world of airplanes crossing the Atlantic Ocean is called the Pond.

White Clouds ruled maybe ten years, a mere decade perhaps when engines, totally eclipsed the entire sailing era altogether.

All of this accompanied a change in historical thinking. My point is scholarly views about the final wrap up of the Gospels seemed to have been also changed, by newer observations. This especially since everything appeared to be very authentic judged blending to what went before.   

Jesus Paid it All

This tag along thinking makes me wonder if this eclipsing of Jesus on His Cross that was for us and His forgiving of our sins, since my being on my cross could forgive no one of their sins. It seems to me like edging into the sinless Jesus' honor, which does forgive sins and was the last sacrifice.

When I suffer I think of how much greater Jesus suffered, even onto death compared to any sufferings of mine. This eases me in my suffering and even floats me in a comforting sea of love/gratitude due exclusively to Jesus.

This is not new here, but no matter what I can prove or disprove, everything comes down to what I believe about my belief. I mean clearly that I simply decide to believe what seems rewarding to my future. This is fundamentally hope. My hope is in Jesus. I enjoy this, expressing gratitude for what He has said I can hope for if I believe greatly enough.

Great belief. My sense is that there is great power the spirit. There are a great many spirits however, both positive and negative. Why I do not know? How great they are I do not know. If I did know, I could not know if there would be more to of it to know further up the ladder or down.

Sailing the wild seas
no more/

Final word: I enjoy and am elated praising gratitude love to Jesus, the Holy Father, and the Holy Spirit both before and while or whether whenever, whatever is happening both going off or coming on.

My fingers hurt and my feet are numb. I hope to make entries here but I do not know what about or when. But it will be sometime, someday, again.

Stories told out of school

Some think the Bible was written in English. This is true really. Meanwhile I was taught Latin in school along with how to write my name on a check. As for Jesus He likely spoke Aramaic, but this is loosely speaking hearsay with me and technically gossip in court.

sans et al

I Made My Decision My Way

I can no longer concern myself with what can be proved nor particularly what can not be proved. I am only going t decide what I will believe, no matter what, nor when, nor how, nor any whichever around the sun nor in and out between the stars.

I make this public before everyone. Jesus has said if I do this He will make His acknowledgement of me before the Holy Father, God and man. That is something if I must say so.