God forgave David because.....

....David was honest with God. I received some measure of relief when I realized that. I certainly was ignorantly honest with God. I even told God that I did not care if He existed or not, I did not want anything to do with Him if He was in with those deacons and the minister.

I was a child deciding at the time whether Santa Claus existed or not and when I heard the minister explain that the stories in the Bible were not true and that only the meaning was true, it set me off against pulpit-talk churches. I would hear it all over again when a teacher and other religious leaders, many who often mentioned for the sake of the children.

Even after I studied, with great interest, logic in college, and still was a college educated unbeliever. It never struck me for several years that I had been hooked on the fallacy of the misplaced authority.

I was starting an embarrassing process, feeling I had been a jackass. I was then, am now,  glad that Jesus was a forgiver. 

Reasons I love everyone....

...even those who differ with me, strengthen me and force me to firmly establish my reasons for everything I am thinking. I wish them the same.    

In the Foxhole

Dying is as big a mess as being born into this world. I do not like going into something, from where I am familiar, into something else where I have never actually been before.

Time Fools Us All.  I also feel somewhat betrayed by events that transpired so quickly, when I expected they were not only far off, but a long way off.

Things gradually get more unbearably difficult, and even decorated with pain. I know. But many of us still hold on until the organic mind becomes confused, continually remembering and forgetting. I call this being in the foxhole. We cannot tell when it will happen, but it is close. 

Now I will know if what I believed is true and whether I believed it.

There will come a time when we know what happens......

.....but then it may be too late to change matters. I personally think I will get what I truly believe. But nothing of these affairs was I aware at the time they happened to me. I was as well too young to arrive at such understandings.

I was walking home from our church's summer school, which was largely constructed to entertain us. We made ear rings out of fancy buttons. We watched western movies as the stage coach ran entirely over a cliff. But not so entirely the week following. 

It was boring and I was awarded perfect attendance novelties. I can still see it all now perfect in every dimension. Without any prior warning the words came into my awareness, God is Existence.

Existence however was not yet a word I was at all that familiar in any way. I can see still the details of the empty intersection and the names I knew went with the houses. God is Existence? 

Even so, I was not startled or impressed whatever. I forgot about it, but years later I, older,  came across the words in Exodus by random accident. I am that I am. Then, for the first time I realized what existence meant.

God spoke all that existed, that ever existed, or that ever will exist. Just as it is explained in the opening words in the Gospel John. All in unequaled dramatic fashion it reflects power. I love reading it every time.