The candy Jesus

I noticed early on that when a preacher held forth before the young crowd, of which I was one but older, that he always extolled the wonderful experience it was to be saved.

The in following sermons it was often emphasized how it was not easy to be saved, that there would be difficulties, so that we had to pick up our crosses and follow Him.

So which is it? Who was going to have their sins forgiven by my doing that? What is this anyway, Christ envy? This same pattern was to be often repeated by others.

Another preacher comes along and tells us this young chappie left his scrubbing the floor Mom so she could pay for his college, from which he made big bucks and never gave mom any thought until he learns she is dead. Throwing his sob racked body across her grave he wept bitterly. Meanwhile quite suddenly he wants know who wants to give their hearts to Jesus?

What! Where did that come from? Separated from the younger students which the youngers gave their hearts to Jesus. I told the teacher, without raising my hand, that that was right. She put her finger to her lips and said for the sake of the children.

I understood then that what the adults meant by pupil talk. It was all for the sake of the children. I was instantly grown up like the adults. I was an adult now and the it was all for the sake of the children, there was no Santa Claus. It explained to me, just like I complained the same  day about coloring books in Sunday School.

Later I asked the God I did not believe in why He allowed me to see and hear all these things. I was blaming God, right? Later I put my heart in logic and discovered I was following the fallacy of the misplaced authority.

So where am I now, saved by logic?. I then run into  several preaching the message of Jesus without any mention whatever to Jesus himself. Now what happens? God is not pleased with proof. Jesus says anyone who climbs up another way, the same is a thief and a robber.

Not much room for myself as well in this scenario. After all logic is another way is it not? But these recent preachers preaching Jesus' message without Jesus ever mentioned looks to me that I am hooked into another way as well. 

So will I have enough faith when I am in the foxhole? Do I have enough faith even now, me of so little faith?